My Bday

Listening to my old CD Amerie, brings back thoughts of being in love, or when I thought I was in love. "I just died" was my song and I always wanted to feel that way. I thought a guy did that before but I can't remember who. But it is sad to say, that I have recently felt that way and it was for a guy who in my opinion caught me off guard, knocked me off my feet and made me melt all in one. I honestly really never expected to feel that way! Dang! Why? I ask myself over and over again. I can't like him and I hate every time I think about it him. It just makes me mad. He is the total opposite of everything I stand for. He lives everyday as chillin and that's it. No job, no car, no career thoughts or maybe he do just one I don't really care for. Hanging out all night, every weekend, somebody I don't want. But then it was the inside person. That person was who he showed me and I was at first glad that I was able to that person. As Beyonce would say, he intrigued me but it was weird. I know that he could be everything I want but I know the truth and he aint what I want. Straight up! So it is my 22nd birthday and I feel mixed and jumbled up. I just don't know. But I do know I need somebody to talk to. That's all. It is just that simple, point blank! "All I have" another one of my jams! It is amazing how music and lyrics can make you feel. Its crazy. But anyway. My birthday just another day but I am thanking God for Blessing me! I take him for granted by not telling Him thank you for blessing me for I am blesses. In the end, It is my birthday 2 days from now and I feel empty? Incomplete? But in actuality I am not. It is all in my head. I am single and blessesd.