Let me clear my head
I usually don't, well never do I do a rant type entry but this morning I needed to clear my head.
For the past couple of months I have been holding on to someone that constantly pulls away from me. I hold on to his number, his I miss you messages, the quick feelings that I once had for him, the times that we shared, the way he held me and his hugs and his kisses, his compliments and his company. All stuck in my memory. And for once, last night I had had enough. I continue to put myself and my feelings out there to only be shut down. I wanted to stick to my word and support him is his activities and lifestyle, but when the opportunity arose, he questioned why was I doing that? I guess that only meant that he didn't want me support him. Or maybe he don't want me there. Either way I have had enough of doing that, and I am finally letting go. After crying myself to sleep, something that i was dreading to do, it hit me like an epiphany. He is not meant to be in my life and i need to stop forcing him there in the manner that I want him to be. Like maybe he has served his purpose and now it is time for him to move on to the girl and drive her wild. i am not going to delete the entries dedicated to him because they are part of me. So anyways, he gone miss me when I gone.
This morning i was listening to the Rickey Smiley show and Gary with a T or whatever he calls himself was talking about Terrence J from 106 and park and his new cameo appearance in The Game as Tasha Mack younger sweet thang. Anywho, he talked about how he like dating older women and one example he used was they cook for him and know how to treat their men. Now! I immediately, got upset and angry because I felt like he was saying that older women take care of their young sweet thangs as if that is the reason why younger men date older women. i look at it as they are little boys who think of these older women as their mom. she cares for you, she cooks for you, runs your bath water, pay for your meal and washes your clothes, rubs your tummy when it hurts, kisses your finger when you hurt it, cut your food up so you can chew it better. GTOH!!! and please grow the hell up and be a man. Take care of your own self and when you are treated, which should be rare surprises, enjoy it but do not expect it. if you want a woman to be your mom and be your sex partner, then you deserve to be alone, because clearly you need to grow up.
And this is probably why I am single. I can't take the foolishness and bullish that these so called men put us through.
And then I get to work and the virus on my computer is detrimental which means all my files since April will be deleted. And then my jump drive was in the computer, which means it is a possibility that it is useless. It's like i will be starting over...
I don't like doing things last minute but it seems like it is the only way i can get things done. oh well.
On another note, looking forward to the weekend. Looking forward to putting my mind on things that will actually pay off in the end and not waste my time. Moving onward and forward in 2011
deuces
For the past couple of months I have been holding on to someone that constantly pulls away from me. I hold on to his number, his I miss you messages, the quick feelings that I once had for him, the times that we shared, the way he held me and his hugs and his kisses, his compliments and his company. All stuck in my memory. And for once, last night I had had enough. I continue to put myself and my feelings out there to only be shut down. I wanted to stick to my word and support him is his activities and lifestyle, but when the opportunity arose, he questioned why was I doing that? I guess that only meant that he didn't want me support him. Or maybe he don't want me there. Either way I have had enough of doing that, and I am finally letting go. After crying myself to sleep, something that i was dreading to do, it hit me like an epiphany. He is not meant to be in my life and i need to stop forcing him there in the manner that I want him to be. Like maybe he has served his purpose and now it is time for him to move on to the girl and drive her wild. i am not going to delete the entries dedicated to him because they are part of me. So anyways, he gone miss me when I gone.
This morning i was listening to the Rickey Smiley show and Gary with a T or whatever he calls himself was talking about Terrence J from 106 and park and his new cameo appearance in The Game as Tasha Mack younger sweet thang. Anywho, he talked about how he like dating older women and one example he used was they cook for him and know how to treat their men. Now! I immediately, got upset and angry because I felt like he was saying that older women take care of their young sweet thangs as if that is the reason why younger men date older women. i look at it as they are little boys who think of these older women as their mom. she cares for you, she cooks for you, runs your bath water, pay for your meal and washes your clothes, rubs your tummy when it hurts, kisses your finger when you hurt it, cut your food up so you can chew it better. GTOH!!! and please grow the hell up and be a man. Take care of your own self and when you are treated, which should be rare surprises, enjoy it but do not expect it. if you want a woman to be your mom and be your sex partner, then you deserve to be alone, because clearly you need to grow up.
And this is probably why I am single. I can't take the foolishness and bullish that these so called men put us through.
And then I get to work and the virus on my computer is detrimental which means all my files since April will be deleted. And then my jump drive was in the computer, which means it is a possibility that it is useless. It's like i will be starting over...
I don't like doing things last minute but it seems like it is the only way i can get things done. oh well.
On another note, looking forward to the weekend. Looking forward to putting my mind on things that will actually pay off in the end and not waste my time. Moving onward and forward in 2011
deuces
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