farewell...

I don't know if I am alone in this but I have a feeling I am not. That feeling... When someone makes attempts to make you feel like you aren't good enough. Pretty enough. Smart enough. Holy enough. For them. You tell yourself, your friends tell you, everybody tells you that you are over and beyond good enough, matter of fact to good but it's always that 1, sole, person that can try to break you down. Sometimes on purpose and then other times, they are so accustomed to doing it that, it becomes second nature. Yet, we listen and take everything in like a sponge. Absorbing the ill words and thoughts and letting them sit in our brain til it rots us out. I know I am not alone. Those times, when we sit on social networks and click, and click, and click and examine. Sometime, clicking with tears in our eyes, sometimes clicking with anger in our hearts. But we continue to click and click and click. Knowing that it isn't healthy, but it is something about that particular pain that drives and moves. It gives the strength to know the difference. Until eventually, you do that final click. Close the browser and rest.
*sigh
I have allowed myself over and over and over and over and over to feel that pain. The pain of feeling worthless and not good enough. Not just by one person but multiple. But however, I am here to announce that I may not have been good enough for them, but I am good enough for someone and that someone is all that matters. Me and Him. I am not perfect and I don't want to be, because perfect is not perfect but full of flaws. Take me and mold me and shape me into the woman You want me to be. Is all that I ask for me and her. No longer, will I click and click and click with regret, anger and sadness. No longer will it be in my heart.
Letting it all go...